Let’s face it, the people you meet are a blessin’ or a lesson.
No matter how it turns out, there are so many ways you can truly leave a mark on someone. In a professional sense you want people to feel positive when they think about you. You may want to get chosen for a big project, or be part of a new team.
Lack of physical barriers
Sit next to the person you’re meeting with, don’t put a table between you.
Connect physically via touch. Touch immediately lowers the sense of separation. If you’re on a date, this could mean touching someone’s hand while they are speaking to you. In the office, this could mean a handshake, or a light touch on someone’s shoulder. Be sure to read the situation and ask for consent to pat them on the back before getting into their personal bubble!
Prolonged eye contact
Active listening – show you are active listening by squinting and furrowing your brow.
Ask relevant questions.
Repeat what they said in a different way. This shows you were listening and are taking time to evaluate what they are telling you.
Call out commonalities. This makes you relatable.
Feeling similar to someone is one of the 6 most powerful rules of persuasion.Robert B. Caldini
How does Oprah do it? Well, the most important thing to uncover in an interaction is WHAT MOVES PEOPLE EMOTIONALLY!
For example, look at some of the ways Oprah approaches interviews. “What’s the biggest decision you’ve had to make to fulfill your destiny” “how did you manage to pull the pieces of yourself together” “how would you describe your childhood?”
Hardship, family, our dreams, what we’re ashamed of. It’s how we are defined at our core
Oprah leans into emotion; she doesn’t downplay it. Since she is willing to go to that same place with people, it validates their feelings. She shares in their joy and their pain.
Summary: Focus on what you share, instead of where you differ. Be willing to go there emotionally, lean in. You have to be willing to open yourself up, so people will do the same with you.